Tango in Seoul

LAST TANGO IN SEOUL
by Victoria Hamm

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So I finally found a great tango partner. Tango is the dance of seduction. So finding a suitable partner has been difficult. He needs to be good looking for my innate hip-rhythm to activate right? (Just agree or I’ll cry.) I've had a hard time finding someone I feel comfortable dancing with.

I've danced at salsa clubs all around Seoul and I feel the best way to get better at partner dance is to dance with as many different partners as possible (No connection to other activities one might connect to in this connotation.) So I've danced with guys who make me feel the whole room is looking at me, and I have danced with guys I wanted to barf on. Sometimes I can’t keep up, sometimes they have to wake me up when the song is over. But, you never want to lose a partner because he'll tell his friends about you and you’ll be a wall flower in no time… dancing with your friends in a circle… or after a few drinks, dancing by yourself. I have come up with salsa dancing etiquette that works for me.
If you are in Apkujong, be ready to dance your ass off! People here are not messing around. They came to sweat. You will actually see people wearing sweatbands! If you go to Itaewon, be ready to hook up. People do come to dance here… but most often they are trying to get in your pants. If you go to Hongdae, bring your pillow because you might need a nap. Dancing starts at 5 pm at one place, and ends at 5am in another.
So why has it been difficult for me to find a tango dance partner if I act so all knowing about partner dance in Seoul? People who dance salsa are very different from people who dance tango. Salsa is more of a street dance that requires more booty shaking and dirty dancing. Ahhhh…. Patrick Swazy…. (wipe drool off of face now). Tango is a dance that requires more foot movements, and a partner to learn with. Which is where “he” comes in.
Yep, I did find a partner. He was bulging and rippling in all the right places, so he evoked the gyration in me. Oh, yeah, and he really wanted to learn about my passion, dancing. We hung out for a few days and fantasized about tango… yes… it was tango I am sure. The big day came and I called him for lunch. “Great!” he says. I will call you before I leave.
I check the time and it’s 12 o’clock. So I better hurry up and get ready. One o’clock… look in the mirror. 2 o’clock… look in the mirror. Now it is getting late. I text him, “Are you still up for lunch?” Look in the mirror. Yep, still look the same as I did last time. I lie back and think, “Crap, what about tango? All I want is tango!” I text him, “So about that tango thing….”He ended up calling right before I left (I decided to go by myself). Then, he was late which made us late. We had a great meal, laughed for hours and made plans to try again…
… Then his ex calls. The gyration escaped me. He turned out to be an evil apple I took a bite out of. He was soooo tasty, but I will be sleeping for eternity now. Good night.