|
 Ms.
Rosita Edwards is an extremely talented writer/ actress
who has been in Seoul a few months. She harbors dreams of
being a helicopter pilot and someday she wants to go to
Thailand and write a book. These are excerpts from her experience
here in Korea:
Ms.
Edwards on Insects and Vermin:
I
went to Osan for the weekend. That place is truly Satan's
vagina. Worse than Itaewon. EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!
I
witnessed, with mine own two eyeballs, a man, no no, a MONSTER
who felt that somehow, someway he could prove to the world
that he was indeed a whole lotta luv by trying to break
a vomiting record. Yes indeed, you heard true. He threw
up 13 times, 13 TIMES!!!! This was not the clincher though.
Oh god no. He then proceeded to dip a 2 ounce shot glass
into the bucket which held the said vomitus and SHOOT IT!!!!!!!!
AHHHHH! YECH!!!! EEEKKK!!!! I want to shower right now!
WITH BLEACH!!! It was the most horrible thing I have seen
in real life. Well, besides pain and suffering, but I mean,
as far as self inflicted "joys" go, this one was
a doozy. What is the world coming to??
Ok,
so THAT happened. On a brighter note, yesterday I was awalking
from my hotel room to my friends house and I walked by this
really strange little area of land right off the sidewalk.
It appeared to be a park of sorts, but everything was overgrown
and crawly. There was these two lone benches, decrepit,
but yet so beautiful in their friendship. Side by side they
were, with wet newspapers stuck to them. That's not what
caught my eye tho. As I was walking by this small plot of
land, a shimmer of a shadow went buzzing by the corner of
my eye. When I turned to try and see what it was, there
was nothing there. So I walked into the middle of the "park"
and just stood still and watched. Well wouldn't you know
there was 20 some dragonflies just ripping around, surfing
the air currents. It was so awesome. They were this really
beautiful yellowy- browny- burnt honey color with golden
wings. Exquisite!! So I stood there for a few minutes and
they finally got used to me being there and a couple came
and sat on the sleeve of my shirt. It was really nice.
(always
end with the good story)
So
that was my weekend in two equally, yet totally opposite
emotionally charged stories.
Ms.
Edwards on `Himbos` (male bimbos) :
I think
we may, might, perhaps head to the Hilton on weds for ladies
nite because there is supposedly modelles there and I should
probably go see these people. Man, sometimes I think that
I'm just too meat and potatoes for the steak and caviar
crowd. I suck at smalltalk and bullshitting, and I really
don't care about salaries, clothing, cars, homes, jewels
and degrees. Or pedigrees. But, I'll take one for the team
and I always enjoy looking at himbos. YAY HIMBOS!!! I salute
you oh brawny brainless ones.
Ms.
Edwards on partying like a Rock Star:
So
I've got to tell you about my fun weekend last week. I got
to be a rockstar for a nite!! Our whole family (me, Paul,
the models) went out on friday and hooked up with the president
of our company. We went noribanging (she bangs she bangs)
and then we all piled into the president's LIMO (I love
how a limo in this country is only a big black car that
is 1 foot longer than the usual big black car... but it
was kinda fun and fabulous) and went to the slimelight and
got a booth...ooooohhh.... and el presidente bought two,
count 'em TWO, deux, 2, ee, dugai, dva, bottles of whiskey.
And did you know that the slime served food?? And it's actually
kinda yummy. I was stunned myself. Anyways, we ate, drank,
smoked, danced, and some more models kinda migrated to us,
so it was this whole weird table of English teachers, korean
accessories, models, agents, bosses, and other miscellaneous
expats. We were there until 5 am (damn this girl is getting
WAAAAAAAY too old for that) and then we went (stumbled)
home.
Ms.
Edwards on feminism in Korea:
So after an uncomfortable sleep in last night's clothes,
hair and make- up(yech), I awoke to a stanky korean morn
with the next door neighbors slaughtering animals on their
alter of sacrifice.. Ok... I 'm pretty sure they were just
building something, and cutting some metal or some damn
thang, but it sounded like animal death. Got up, showered
and went to work for a stint. Apres, I met my mama and some
of her feminist friends. You have got to meet these women!!
It's so funny that in Korea they have to call themselves
feminists, but in the rest of the world they are but independent,intelligent,
strong women. Kinda like all of us. So we're a bunch of
she-women- man-haters!! Tee hee.
So we went for sups and vino at "our place" in
Itaewon (really lovely) and then they asked if we would
like to go to Gangyeung for the evening.
Gangyeung is an ocean city 3 hours east of seoul. It is
absolutely beautilicious. White sand beaches, brilliant
surf, fresh air, forests, wildlife,
a lake with fishies, fluers and the tackiest nightclub you
ever have seen. IT WAS RAD!!! So we stayed in this nice
hotel and in the morning went for a walk around the lake.
We went into this red pine forest of love and there was
all these girls, women, teens, tweens, elders, perched out
and writing for an essay contest. We had arrived at the
woman's festival!! The ladies we went with, Myeung Suk and
Myeung Gin (Myeung Suk is an author and tv anchor and Myeung
Gin is a graphic designer) introduced us to all these fabulous,
fearless (damn cosmo) women. We met an architect who has
50 male employees (and great nails), a interpretive poet,
a CEO of a woman's magazine, a few business owners (what
kind of business got lost in translation), and a slew of
various artisans. Myeung Suk (author) had a presentation
and discussed her book "Feminism in Korea". Some
dudes who were there asked some stupid questions and the
women got all fired up. In a good way I'm pretty sure. Anyways,
I didn't understand a lick, but I clapped really loud and
hooted at the end.
Ms.
Edwards on the DMZ:
That place is really quite interesting. I went last
year, and the energy is, at times, quite overwhelming. The
history is a palpatable feeling. When we took the tour down
into the third tunnel, if you closed your eyes you could
almost see the shapes of people working down there under
the earth. The smell is so musky that it begs you to go
back in time. And the sounds... The group that I was with
was small and when we got to the bottom, everyone just hushed
and you could hear air swooshing in from the hole waaaaay
above. I wonder how many men died building that hole? I
wonder how many people it saved? I like to think of myself
as an open minded, worldly human being, but after being
chauffeured around by men (boys) with machine guns, I realized
how sheltered I am. I've never had to kill to eat.
I've never had to steal to survive. I've never had to watch
anyone I know and love suffer a brutal demise.
I think that these sorts of situations serve to remind us
that we must always help each other. One person can make
a difference. Preach it sister! So when should I get fitted
for my nunhood clothes? I wonder if I can get a habit in
candy apple red with a black racing stripe down the side.
Do you think the other sisters would mind?? And I'll have
to get some wicked Christian bling. A big 'ol honkin diamond
studded cross and a bumper sticker on the back of my camaro
(oh yah baby) that says "Jesus is my homeboy".
Oooh, and one of those rings that goes on each finger, you
know the ones that go across the knuckles?? Well, I could
get one for each hand and throw out props like "GOD
LOVES" or "JESUS SAVES" or "ROCK 4 RELIGION".
I'd
be the baddest sista in town.
Wow.
It's early. I didn't sleep well. Brain is funny today.
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